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How Does your Partner in Life become your Partner for Success?

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Posted by: Core Team, LegacyBuilders Global

How Does your Partner in Life become your Partner for Success?

What do a life partner and investors have in common? 

It is the major life decision they have to make: choosing the right partner to deal with. 

Whereas making the right choice is one thing being able to sustain and to succeed is another. 

Will you marry me? 

Is one of the most controversial, anticipated, and life-changing questions one could ask, or anyone could ever have to answer. It entails the most important life decision a person will ever make. Marriage by definition is a legal union and lifelong commitment. Therefore, married life is more than the grand ceremonial event and much more than a decision not to divorce. This is a moral obligation and lifetime partnership with the one you chose to spend the rest of your life with. 

The importance of recognizing your way of choosing your life partner plays a huge role in how you intend to be successful in your career and personal growth. No man is an island, one thing considered as the greatest turning point in one’s journey of life is the moment they have met “The One.” Warren Buffet one of the richest men in the world said that the biggest decision in life is deciding who you choose to marry. In one event Buffet said to Bill Gates, “You want to associate with people who are the kind of person you’d like to be. You’ll move in that direction, and the most important person by far in that respect is your spouse.”

Almost every day you see marriage proposals, engagement parties, wedding films, married life reels all across social media platforms. It is a romantic and sentimental moment to behold. We can see how tedious the preparations can be for the big day. Everyone seems to be very excited and so over the moon to prepare for what we think is the endgame of one’s love story, but not truly prepared for what lies ahead. 

When the fireworks and butterflies begin to fade out, it’s only the two of you that’s left. Reality starts to sink in, that lifetime partnership is beyond the joy and excitement of merely selecting the perfect wedding dress. During the realization stage of marriage, where responsibilities start to accumulate and conflicts begin to arise, married couples will be more likely to ask themselves if they are at all in the right partnership. 

Although marriage and lifetime partnership could be two different things, they could also be the same thing. For a marriage to work, you have to have a solid devotion to your other half that you will do whatever it takes to make your sacred bond last. On the other hand, a partnership does not necessarily require a wedding ceremony for it to work. It is your commitment and compatibility that make a great partnership. You have to see each other as an ally to remain steadfast and prepared for the waves of changes that will occur along the way. 

A recent study found that 19.2% among divorced individuals provided incompatibility as one of the related reasons for divorce in an open-ended survey, while the most checked reasons from a list of choices questionnaire, the lack of commitment hold the largest tally with 85%. To sum up, importance on issues such as communication, incompatibility, and commitment, as reasons for divorce consistently exist. Nevertheless, life partnership should not be a daily battlefield but a daily reminder that both of you are a work in progress. You need one another in complimenting each other to grow and build together. 

But a good partnership does not just happen overnight — you have to work for it. Sometimes it takes a huge amount of time in our life looking for the one. Everybody has their criteria of what their dream partner should have. But rarely do we ever find someone who is a perfect match, instead, we learned to compromise and get to love and stay faithful despite their flaws. When you found the one, you are lucky enough as it may only happen once in a lifetime. It will be worth it. Because when your life at home is stable, your family is happy and supportive, you will enjoy immense personal and career success — it will surely make all the difference. You and your life partner will become unstoppable. 

Choosing the perfect match could be a tricky one, simply put here are some things that can help to determine in finding “The One.” 

7 Signs that Your Partner in Life is Also Your Partner for Success

  1. You are both conscientious – Integrity is key not just in relationships but in all aspects of life. You keep your relationship organized in a way that is respectful and efficient for one another. The conscientious partnership complements the needs of one another and provides moral, social, and life support. This is a huge factor to set people up for success. 
  2. You feel comfortable with complete confidence and trust – What is the point of being in a relationship whether it be a business or personal partnership if you cannot be completely honest with each other? It is unfair to lose confidence with your significant other and not be brave enough to admit it to him/her. Your trust and faith solidify the foundation of your partnership. Otherwise, your invested time, energy, and effort will only be put to waste. To be in partnership with whom you can trust and enjoy life is a huge help to attain success with a special sense of ease.
  3. You appreciate and recognize each other’s identity – Apparently, nobody wants to spend their life with someone who does not recognize personal dreams/goals or personality. People by nature are created unique from one another. For a partnership to succeed, one must put serious attention and appreciation to their significant other as the person that they truly are and not as their clone or what they project them to be. Because when your presence and efforts are acknowledged and appreciated, it brings out the best in each other. In this way, both of you could leverage each other’s strengths and use them to sustain the partnership. 
  4. You have a solid commitment with each other – you set goals for your relationship and plans for the future together. Your words and actions must express that you are committed to working with this relationship for the long term. You do not easily give up when things get bumpy, by choice, you find ways hand-in-hand to resolve the conflicts. You agreed to keep your foundations intact: Intimacy, Commitment, and Passion. 
  5. You look after each other’s well-being – You genuinely wish the best for your partner. His/ her small wins bring great joy and satisfaction to you. It is equally important to you to see your partner feels good about herself/himself. It is your delight to see him/her flourish. Both of you show utmost concern and affection with regards to your partner’s health and well-being: physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially. 
  6. You Empower Each Other by Keeping your Communications Open – when you leave your significant other clueless about what’s going on in your mind, you deprive him of the power to understand and sympathize with the situation that needs to be resolved promptly. It is impractical to keep your partner guessing or assuming as it will only prolong problems and may lead to misunderstandings. By simply talking to your partner, you share the power, ensuring that one is being heard and each of your opinions counts. 
  7. You encourage healthy arguments – It’s perfectly normal to disagree with your partner about something from time to time. Arguments are bound to happen, but that does not mean shouting, namecalling, humiliating, holding grudges, or emotional blackmail. On the other hand, constant pretending that everything is okay is never the solution to keep the relationship stronger. We can turn the arguments into a healthy discourse in believing that conflicts are encouraged because it is a positive bond-building opportunity for both of you if given and taken constructively. It is the key to personal growth and deeper mutual understanding. Learning from arguments and resolving them with respect and voice of reason strengthens both of you as individuals and develops resilience to you as partners. 

A strong and healthy partnership takes ongoing effort, passion, and investment of time for it to go. What matters is the one that you have chosen is worth the effort. So, take your time to evaluate the provided key points and honestly ask yourself, Is my partner right for me?

References: 

Scott, S. B., Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., Allen, E. S., & Markman, H. J. (2013). Reasons for Divorce and Recollections of Premarital Intervention: Implications for Improving Relationship Education. Couple & family psychology, 2(2), 131–145. 

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Leverage Change: The Advantage of Embracing Change Instead of Resisting It

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Posted by: Core Team, LegacyBuilders Global

Leverage Change: The Advantage of Embracing Change Instead of Resisting It

Whenever asked, “If you can change one thing in your life, what is it?” “I wouldn’t change anything at all” is the most practical way to respond to it.

We have romanticized being satisfied with what we currently have long enough that it starts to justify resistance and misses the benefits that we can get if only we had taken that one great opportunity to make a change.

In your journey to becoming successful in your career or personal life, change can either be your friend or foe, it depends on how much you know to turn it into your advantage.

Resistance to Change

In 2016 Forbes’ company assessment, professionals, managers, and top executives got to assess their style in managing change. Data shows that leaders tend to overestimate how much employees are willing to change. Respondents were asked to choose between two statements:

1) People generally like to remain in the status quo
2) People generally want to reach for something bigger and better

The results astounded the leaders as it shows 45% of their people generally like to remain in the status quo, which suggests that frontline employees are reluctant to leave the current situation and hesitant to embrace change. This is a significant number that needs to be reduced for them to successfully facilitate changes in the company and let go of the old ways. Once they get through this, only then they can effectively bring their growth to reach for something bigger and better.

 

Appreciating the value of change can only be easier said than done. Because things can be intimidating when you are introduced to something new and set to do things for the first time outside your routine. There is a resistance to change because getting out of the convenience in the status quo is never an option — unless you are forced to do so. This speaks so much for the criticisms in the “If it ain’t broken, don’t fix it”. Yes, it might be practical if we only talk about repainting the house or buying a new Smart TV. But in this fast-paced era of life, business, and technology, the pursuit of being the best version of yourself and achieving greater success with your career will not go anywhere. If you only wait for things to get broken first before you do some fixing.

Therefore, we need to fully understand the value of change. In this way, one could leverage it to achieve success in your career ventures and personal growth.

Why change is necessary?

If there’s one lesson that 2020 has taught us, it is the reality of how things can completely change in a blink of an eye, or in a single sneeze for that matter. Everything can change and we hold no control over it. It’s a big “Nothing is permanent” slap in the face, and those who weren’t able to adapt to the changes that took place were left either stale or totally gone.

The goal to become successful these days is all about embracing and mastering change. If you are not embracing change, you are not achieving anything. You are just living in the status quo and existing until fate will hit you again with a big slap in the face.

You owe it to yourself to reach your maximum potential and become everything that you have ever dreamed of being. The opportunity to go further than you’ve reached so far is always there, you just have to seize it. Your dreams can go from great to greater and you become better to best. But with grand pursuits come grand efforts, and grand efforts are the sum of all the little things you have done. These baby steps are the daily decisions that you had to make. Now, you must check yourself where you are:

Is it good?

Is it bad?

Is it the place you have pictured yourself to be five years ago?

After all, it is what and how you make it.

If you see that you are in a bad place, you surely don’t want to only sit and stare and do nothing about it. If you are already in a good place, you certainly want to sustain it and keep doing better. If you are not yet there, then you definitely want to reach that place at the soonest time possible.

But how do you arrive at your destination if you stuck yourself in the same place you’re in, doing the same things over and over again?

Amazon would not be the multi-billion Amazon that we all look up to if they remain an online retail store for physical books. It is through continuous learning, innovation and not missing opportunities during changing times that they became the largest and leading e-commerce, cloud computing, and AI company that they are today.

Who would have thought that the decline of demand in oil and gas furnaces during the 1950s, could be the greatest opportunity to spin the business of what we know now as one of the biggest and most popular children’s modeling clay, Play-Doh. Now they have reportedly sold over two billion cans of this colorful product used for crafts and arts.

 

The way these multi-billion scale corporations made their way through change and emerge to success can also be applied to your career and personal growth. Remember that the quality of life does not get better by chance. It can only get better by change. When you do things the same way you’ve done it in the past five years then you are settled with the same results. Should you wish to improve it and get better results, then you must do things differently.

7 ways to leverage change

The Grab Life by the Horns podcast episode: “How to change without losing yourself?”, talks about how your change is correlated to how you drive yourself to success. To succeed you can either make changes to reach your goal or change the goal itself. One must keep in mind that change is painful, and growth can be equally painful. All the changes that we need to go through, even changing for the better, always correspond to discomfort.

How something so uneasy and unsettling can be taken to your advantage? Here are seven simple ways:

  1. Have clarity of purpose
    You can turn to change into your advantage if you can clearly map out the compelling need for it. When your mission and vision are intact, you act efficiently. There will be no wasted time and energy because you do it intentionally.
  2. Be your captain.
    This requires self-discipline, integrity, and a great sense of accountability. Strong leadership skills are critical to managing change. Keep in mind that you are the master of your fate and the captain of your soul. You are capable to set your ship and sailing through the storm. Your full self-awareness is the key to guiding you on this revolutionary road.
  3. Be motivated by your passion
    Always go back to your “Whys”, “Why are you doing this?”, the answer must be strong enough to fuel your driving force to keep going. If you know your reason for doing this by heart, you will develop full trust and confidence in the decision that you make. That way, you will not be easily swayed by what other people have to say.
  4. Focus on the goal
    You must always keep your eyes on the prize. Do not get distracted by the things that are meant to delay you in arriving at your destination. You can bring yourself there in good condition or you’ll lose yourself stuck in the sidetracks. You may pause and reflect to evaluate the short-term results to make minor adjustments, but you must stick to the long-term goal.
  5. Be consistent
    Do not break the momentum while you are in the middle of the transition. Do not stop when you are tired most especially if you are distracted by doubts. Only stop when you are done. Consistency is always the key, implementation of the new approach is only the beginning. It should be a continuous effort. Success is not about how good you start, it is about how well you sustain it
  6. Understand the implications
    It is important that you clearly understand that making a change has its consequences. You must be willing to sacrifice and do whatever it takes. When you keep an open mind towards the implications of the changes, you are more capable to anticipate the needs in resolving possible threats and conflicts.
  7. Develop resilience
    More than anticipating the known risks, you as an individual aspiring for greater success would be able to cope with volatile and complex circumstances once you develop your adaptability to change. In an arena of constant change, your non-adaptive behaviour is the one that defeats you. The more you get used to enduring and emerging through the implications of disruption and adversities, the easier for you to survive and bounce back.

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”- Charles Darwin

Change is constant. It is either you make a change or change makes you. Greater things do not come from your comfort zones. Sometimes it comes from the decision to make a change.

Let me ask you again if you can change one thing in your life, what is it?

References:
Forbes | Forbes | US Chamber | Association of MBAS | Naylor | Huffpost

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Shifting Gear: Fear as a Powerful Tool for Success

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Posted by: Core Team, LegacyBuilders Global

Shifting Gear: Fear as a Powerful Tool for Success

“Ever wondered how it feels like to be sitting on the throne of success?”

You know it will not be easy, but you will do it anyway because you know for sure that the gain outweighs the loss once you succeed. But what if not? What if you fail? Are you excited, or are you more scared? If you are scared, then that’s perfect!

Perception of Fear

Fear is often taken negatively. It mostly goes along in a context that suggests horror, terror, and failure. Fear, if not recognized properly, can lead to inaction, and leave you on the floor, frozen. It is the one that sneaks into your bed turning into sleepless nights. When the brain is not getting adequate rest, it may result in a higher level of anxiety, and that makes you more worried about the unknown.

 It starts to make you doubt your reality, your abilities, and yourself. These doubts could lead you to cancel engagements and dismiss opportunities that are being lined up for you. The worst thing that could happen, is when you decide to abort the mission of fulfilling your dreams. And when that dream is stalled, then you have just served yourself the exact same thing that you are being scared about: failure.

 Being scared, especially when making a major shift in your life is completely normal. A recent study shows that leading economic nations are not being spared to feel this complex human emotion. In the proportion of entrepreneurs with the fear of failure, start-up entrepreneurs across wealthy nations: Australia, China, United Kingdom, Japan, United States, and Germany takes up a significant percentage on the chart. https://www.statista.com/statistics/268788/fear-of-failure-start-ups-in-leading-economic-nations/

Is it a good thing or a bad thing that they are scared?  At the end of the day, they are still the leading nations and have been successful in holding up a greater portion of world trades and businesses. 

Why Fear is Not exactly a Bad Thing

 If being scared is the worst thing that could happen, then why do we line up or have to pay huge loads of money, and spend our time, just to see a horror movie? Or to take that crazy amusement park ride?

In the podcast episode of Grab Life By The Horns, titled “Whatever it Takes”, you will learn about the first hundred days of Jennifer and Jan-Marc on their life-changing venture. And how fear has been a key player in the set of cards played, especially by Jennifer, during this critical turnaround of their life.

Of course, you can always choose to stay in your comfort zone when you are at the point of your life where you are starting a family. Taking a risk could be the last thing that you want to do. But, why do you think Jennifer still pursue this dream although she was scared and in a state where emotions were high?

Fear is practically a tool that should push you forward rather than an obstacle that holds you back. This is simply a matter of knowing how to master your mental game.

Whenever you are caught up in a situation that triggers the response of fight or flight, it alerts our nervous system making our body prepare for danger by releasing chemicals that increase the heart rate and changes the blood flow. This whole thing is the biological and natural act of survival of our body to overcome the threat. “Fear is our survival response,” says Dr Zachary Sikora, PsyD, Northwestern Medicine.

You see that if we feel fear in an actual danger our brain will be more focused on how to survive. On the other hand, if we frighten ourselves in a familiar place like in adventure trails, roller coaster rides, or horror house setup, our brain can switch over to enjoying the ecstasy of being scared. Ironic as it may sound but fear can also be a form of pleasure. Either way, we can use fear to our advantage by looking at it as something fun and useful.

Why does being scared is a good sign?

The feeling of fear is a good way to determine how you set yourself apart from winners to losers. Winners do it while they are scared. Losers do not do it because they are scared. Winners embraced it while losers avoided it.

Whenever you have to do something for the very first time, you have the free will to actually do it or not. For example, getting a pixie cut when you have maintained long straight hair all your life. You have a choice to remain the same and not change anything about yourself. But why is the idea of getting a haircut persists in your mind? At first, the idea seems innocent. But when you start to feel scared of how will it turn out for you, then that is a good sign. That is a signal that you are considering taking the risk of cutting your hair short. Will it suit you or ruin you? You will never know until you ask the hairdresser to get you a pixie and look yourself in the mirror when it’s done.

Getting things done no matter how scared you are can give you a nice boost of self-esteem. It is the same case to any of your pursuits, whether it be quitting your 9-5 job and starting a business from scratch, ending a long-term but toxic relationship, migrating to another country, or simply just getting a tattoo. The sense of accomplishment rooted in overcoming a fear is unmatched as compared to completing a goal within your usual comfort zone.

Once you are willing to take the risk then you are opening yourself to the chances of success, even more so to chances of failure. When you get the hang of recognizing and dealing with fear you will then appreciate the purpose of failure and how it is essential to the process of fulfilling your dream. The early – and only- detection of failure is to commit it. The one who experienced 100 failed attempts is way more ahead because at this point he already knows what does not work and how to work around it. How you shape your mindset’s approach to fear, risks, and failure will affect your ability to reach and sustain success.

Turning Fear into Power

Fear is a powerful emotional experience. You may forget what happened on your 14th birthday but not that one time you ran for your life from a wild, angry dog chase. A study suggests anything that triggers a strong reaction holds steady storage in your memory.

You do not want to forget what hurt you. Thus, it teaches you in one way or another, how to become more cautious and wise in different circumstances.

Here are ways to empower fear and use it to your advantage:

Take fear as a friend and not a stranger.
Whenever fear comes in the way, you welcome it and acknowledge it. Do not try to avoid it but rather try to observe its behavior, that way you would know how to handle it. Let fear flow naturally

Do not define failure as the opposite of success.

Failure is your leverage to achieve better results. The opposite of success is inaction.  Because if you tried and failed, you gained knowledge, your knowledge will be used as your weapon, so that when you try again, you have a higher chance of success. But if you haven’t tried at all then success will always stay far out of sight.

 Be comfortable with discomfort.

Always anticipate that you are bound to fail and be a sport about it. What could be more comfortable than already knowing that “failure happens, but that’s okay. I have prepared for it with Plans B, C, D..”

You decide who holds the power of fear

When I say empower the fear, do you think it is as:

  • Empowering the fear so that fear will have its power over you, or
  • It is YOU who empowers the fear, you are the one above it, and you understand that you are capable, unstoppable and fear is just one of your power tools to achieve your goal.

 If you chose the second, then we are on the same page.

Hold on to your own definition of success

Don’t let anyone decide on how to measure your success. Everyone has their unique way of defining success. The key here is to focus on your own pace, without caring too much about the others. Be honest about yourself, do not deny that you will surely disappoint other people from time to time. But remember that you hold the power and do not let fear of what other people have to say, overwhelms you.

Let fear be as powerful as how you can turn to ride on a roller coaster going from screaming to laughing. You are supposed to feel fear because you are alive. It is necessary so can activate your body to do what you have to do.

 As the movie line says, “When it feels scary to jump, that is exactly when you jump. Otherwise, you end up staying in the same place your whole life.”

You can shift fear into power when you: Embrace the fear. You empower it. You become it.

 

References
Forbes | Jim Carroll | Iteach | Statista | NM | Forbes

LegacyBuilders Global

LegacyBuilders Global Team

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